Wow. It’s been a crazy long time since I’ve written..well….anything. But I suppose the inspiration of the day could be awarded to a bunch of cards. Yep, just some old cards. But they aren’t just cards. They’re memories. Memories of college life and of best friends. Memories of singing, but also of heartache. Days of silliness and fun, and nights of deep conversations about our souls and what God truly wanted for us.
I’m not sure what has kept me from letting those memories wash over me. Maybe it’s just the pain of missing it all….but I believe there’s more to it than that. I think the real pain that I don’t really want to deal with is the fact that I have become a different person than I was then. I’ve let myself become a somewhat lazy, calloused, negative, apathetic person on my bad days….and reading those cards reminded me: that’s not who I was. More importantly, that’s not who God wants me to be. I don’t want to let my friends who believed in me down…but God believes in me even more than I can imagine. I can’t keep letting Him down.
My main excuse has been not having those amazing friends as encouragers anymore. While yes, I miss them, and we will never be as close as we were, they will still be there when I need them. Also, if I would just make the effort and open my heart to new people, I would see that there are friends who love God and want to be lights for Him all around me! They may not be college buddies that I knew and lived with for 4 years, but that’s ok. That’s life. I have been so focused on ME ME ME, and who can encourage me…that I forget to encourage others.
Please Lord, forgive me for my lack of confidence in You. Please revive in me that positive attitude, patience, and joy for life that I once had. Please help me to put forth the effort to make a difference, and to keep going, even when it gets hard.
But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. Hebrews 11:6
10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. Eph 2:10